You know how often we learn meaningful life lessons from the world of cinema. I am an animated movie fanatic, so no surprise that in this short piece, I will talk about how another animated movie inspired Dom and me (our love story here) to look inside ourselves and change the way we do and see things for the better. A kind of eureka moment that has become our mantra and helped us do more and be more. In other words, to become better versions of ourselves.
I’m guessing you’ve seen Zootopia by now. I’m not a movie critic and don’t pretend to be one, but this movie stands out for me in so many ways. Be warned: just enough hints ahead! The first time I saw it, the feminist (yes!) character lead, Judy Hopps, the first-ever rabbit police officer, felt so familiar. Her journey from being underestimated and overlooked because of gender and identity. Her experiences and struggles against systemic prejudices and barriers in the workplace, community, and society in general.
Yes, this movie is different (in an about time kind of way!) from the usual Disney offerings. It challenged intersecting issues of gender, diversity, inclusion, biases, and overall inequality in society. The movie's mantra "anyone can be anything" made these messages clear.
While not downplaying the feminist or equality element of the movie, Zootopia left quite an impression on me with its signature song "Try Everything." It became Dom's favorite (along with Billy Ray Cyrus' Achy Breaky Heart lol), he repeatedly put this on loop for an entire day, and he still does whenever he opens YouTube. Who can blame him? The song is catchy, optimistic, and, of course, danceable. It was the best song ever. Go search for the video now, and I wish you luck getting it out of your head (lol).
The "Aha" moment that made all sense
Six years ago (in 2013 to be exact), in one of the first Asia-Pacific women meetings I organized, I had an epiphany. Before the meeting, a senior trade union leader said to me: I've been in the trade union movement for a long time, we did everything we could, but nothing has changed.
There was no Zootopia or Shakira's hit song then yet (it came out in 2016) but that statement stayed with me. It inspired me to know more about what did not go right. I didn't have a name for it then, but we knew we needed to do something transformational to get different, better outcomes.
Fast forward to seven years later since that mind-boggling conversation, and we are talking about real successes in women's collective actions and organizing in the region, not rhetorically, but in reality.
Because we've all been there
This scenario looks strangely familiar because we've been there, not just once, but twice and more.
Whether related to work, family, relationship, or day to day life, our frustrations were real. We made several and repeated mistakes. The problem was, we were always stuck with beating ourselves up over it. We wasted precious time paying attention to all the What's - what went wrong, what a mess we made – and less examination on the "Whys," the "How's" or the "Where's."
When we heard this song for the first time, it all made sense. It became my usual rebuttal to Dom whenever "I tried; nothing seems to work" comment comes out of his mouth. I could get away with a bit of pushing because he does the same thing to me too. What an imperfect perfect partnership, right?
Isn't it amazing how a song can inspire a profound change in our lives? We're so glad it did because those things and situations that felt so big before started to look manageable. We slowly stopped making excuses for ourselves and began to see mistakes and blunders as just another step for self-discovery. We became each other's critic, sharing work-related concerns and thinking together what works.
Dom was the one who introduced me to this vital quote from Albert Einstein, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." It was in 2003. During one of the consultation meetings, my future love challenged our team to stop being "insane." How quickly we have forgotten that!
There's no around it folks
Shakira's hit song brought it all back so vividly. We found ourselves remembering the obvious – quick fixes and half-hearted responses are not going to cut it.
There's nothing extraordinary here, folks, but unfortunately, we didn't get it – at least not at first. We used to keep taking the shortcuts and expecting great results. If you have been in a situation exactly like this one, you know how horrible that is. The song got us thinking: there must be a better way of doing whatever we are trying to do.
By shifting from "being content with just barely making it" to "going the extra mile" mindset, everything we do, either in work or relationship and in other aspects of our lives, started to come together. From finding effective ways of engaging with different people despite the language barriers, to keep learning and improving ourselves, we didn't stop at "just enough." Did we put ourselves in the shoes of others? Will these messages be more straightforward for people to understand? Will these actions help them? Did we try everything (legal and possible)? These are some of the questions we ask ourselves every time, and if the answers remain "No," we give it some more thought and try something different.
This change didn't happen overnight. It took us years and scores of experimentation to understand why this matters and knowing that what's worthwhile is rarely easy. So whenever you find yourself giving up on yourself and others, stop right there and start again because we are so much better than that. We are capable of doing more and being more only if we try everything until it works.
How is it going for you? What is a life lesson (wherever you learned it from) helped you grow and become a better person?
Comments